Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
