She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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