they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize