oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
