That's intense
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
