I wanna bring you to show and tell
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It was a blind-side dick pic.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
