True but thats because hes a fetus.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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