I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
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i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
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I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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