Is it because I queefed?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
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