:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
