but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
My vagina is officially offended.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Randomize
