it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
