you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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