Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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