I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
