It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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