im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
