For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
