Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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