You can't special order awesome
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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