whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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