i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize