i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I need to align my fucking chakras
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
