did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
