I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
