remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Shame - the story of my life.
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