kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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