someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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