So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
