My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
So many bounce houses so little time
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize