I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm sobbing to NWA
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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