there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
