someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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