She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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