I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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