He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
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