Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I know her cup size but not her name....
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
