It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
