I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
