Kareoke will never be a sober sport
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
