It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
