i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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