Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.