Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Did you fuck her?

  (212): View more from New York

  If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.

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  (703): Did you fuck her? (212): If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that. http://tfl.nu/y42g
  Replies (3) Good night (850) Bad night (2932)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried

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  (570): I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried http://tfl.nu/vdpu
  Replies (20) Good night (546) Bad night (3660) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."

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  (407): I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr." http://tfl.nu/64va
  Replies (14) Good night (824) Bad night (2622) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.

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  (416): Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be. http://tfl.nu/wari
  Replies (5) Good night (539) Bad night (2764) Order T-Shirt
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell

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  (478): I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell http://tfl.nu/mqh8
  Replies (29) Good night (6201) Bad night (557) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.

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  (503): well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride. http://tfl.nu/51rz
  Replies (22) Good night (5594) Bad night (433) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?

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  (949): i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph? http://tfl.nu/h05l
  Replies (42) Good night (8189) Bad night (717) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.

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  (210): If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings. http://tfl.nu/8q1l
  Replies (9) Good night (4148) Bad night (641)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with

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  (973): filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with http://tfl.nu/n2jg
  Replies (11) Good night (1912) Bad night (762) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser

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  (585): you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser http://tfl.nu/abu5
  Replies (5) Good night (2070) Bad night (700) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway

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  (207): Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway http://tfl.nu/yca2
  Replies (2) Good night (1962) Bad night (721) Order T-Shirt
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  (361): View more from Texas

  After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.

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  (361): After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge. http://tfl.nu/26oy
  Replies (14) Good night (4823) Bad night (1129) Order T-Shirt
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  (979): View more from Texas

  He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic

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  (979): He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic http://tfl.nu/8ocy
  Replies (10) Good night (2306) Bad night (860) Order T-Shirt
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  (280): View more from

  So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.

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  (280): So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on. http://tfl.nu/vkfv
  Replies (12) Good night (2049) Bad night (366)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.

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  (616): im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake. http://tfl.nu/ht7z
  Replies (6) Good night (205) Bad night (659) Order T-Shirt

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