Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
My vagina is officially offended.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit