under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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