okay pat passed out under dana's car
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.