she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.