Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.

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(403): you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned. http://tfl.nu/4rjg

Replies (14) Good night (3685) Bad night (687)
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(801): View more from Utah

the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome

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(801): the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome http://tfl.nu/ugx7

Replies (14) Good night (5546) Bad night (1071)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?

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(828): Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom? http://tfl.nu/y1hl

Replies (26) Good night (1320) Bad night (7828)
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(807): View more from Ontario

I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.

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(807): I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order. http://tfl.nu/8dgh

Replies (9) Good night (902) Bad night (5153)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.

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(508): my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together. http://tfl.nu/95cx

Replies (17) Good night (4994) Bad night (1203)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.

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(603): He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was. http://tfl.nu/3v3c

Replies (17) Good night (1433) Bad night (3561)
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(954): View more from Florida

I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"

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(954): I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!" http://tfl.nu/l7rl

Replies (19) Good night (4450) Bad night (2026)
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(719): View more from Colorado

She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.

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(719): She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance. http://tfl.nu/lni2

Replies (2) Good night (1436) Bad night (598)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.

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(479): If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough. http://tfl.nu/qsaq

Replies (12) Good night (3117) Bad night (684)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes

(203): View more from Connecticut

i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally

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(203): i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes (203): i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally http://tfl.nu/ln5z

Replies (3) Good night (724) Bad night (828)
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(925): View more from California

All I want is tacobeell and your body

(1-925): View more from California

that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.

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(925): All I want is tacobeell and your body (1-925): that's my favorite sentence you've ever said. http://tfl.nu/3boc

Replies (8) Good night (2860) Bad night (988)
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(810): View more from Michigan

Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable

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(810): Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable http://tfl.nu/3me5

Replies (7) Good night (3174) Bad night (560)
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(815): View more from Illinois

I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.

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(815): I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets. http://tfl.nu/choe

Replies (4) Good night (1410) Bad night (462)
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(310): View more from California

If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.

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(310): If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time. http://tfl.nu/wm4g

Replies (1) Good night (997) Bad night (290)
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(217): View more from Illinois

and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.

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(217): and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear. http://tfl.nu/et11

Replies (1) Good night (218) Bad night (586)

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