Texts From Last Night

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  (716): View more from New York

  who do you think you are?

  (407): View more from Florida

  someone who doesn't ask that question

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  (716): who do you think you are? (407): someone who doesn't ask that question http://tfl.nu/uw7n
  Replies (4) Good night (3965) Bad night (1355)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??

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  (856): Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray?? http://tfl.nu/zh2p
  Replies (36) Good night (1232) Bad night (4147)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much

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  (828): I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much http://tfl.nu/wzca
  Replies (14) Good night (1632) Bad night (3024)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.

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  (908): just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep. http://tfl.nu/seq6
  Replies (14) Good night (5520) Bad night (1520)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.

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  (316): My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch. http://tfl.nu/qemq
  Replies (15) Good night (1352) Bad night (4400)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers

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  (864): I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers http://tfl.nu/0wmu
  Replies (5) Good night (1685) Bad night (711)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.

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  (336): If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone. http://tfl.nu/bfil
  Replies (12) Good night (1356) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you

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  (304): He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you http://tfl.nu/r4en
  Replies (2) Good night (496) Bad night (1131)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.

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  (817): Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer. http://tfl.nu/fjqn
  Replies (6) Good night (1164) Bad night (609)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.

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  (817): I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good. http://tfl.nu/zf93
  Replies (2) Good night (1096) Bad night (459)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.

  (586): View more from Michigan

  ...how and why.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  PARENTS ARE MAGIC.

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  (248): I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS. (586): ...how and why. (248): PARENTS ARE MAGIC. http://tfl.nu/swgi
  Replies (7) Good night (944) Bad night (498)
• Favorite

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!

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  (308): Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable! http://tfl.nu/qvqx
  Replies (6) Good night (976) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex

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  (306): she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex http://tfl.nu/jwtl
  Replies (7) Good night (965) Bad night (426)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.

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  (210): just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened. http://tfl.nu/ruvq
  Replies (1) Good night (690) Bad night (281)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.

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  (217): But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free. http://tfl.nu/h26s
  Replies (4) Good night (540) Bad night (219)

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