I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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