oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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