is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
