Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
