Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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