the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
only if we run a train.
done.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
