just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
