I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
