Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
