well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
3 2 1 whiskey
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
