Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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