It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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