11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
So many bounce houses so little time
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
