20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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