I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
