hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
