What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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