You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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